Review: H1N1 (Swine Flu)
September 20th, 2009
Disclaimer: I got this flu for free from an unknown source somewhere in Mississippi, or possibly Virginia. I have tried to not let this affect my honesty in reviewing it.
Compared to other influenzas (“flus” from here on out), this one is … well I have never had any other flus. That alone allows me some specific comparison, which is to say, that since I never got any other flus, but I got this flu, then H1N1 is harder to not get than flus in the past.
Early onset was nonspecific and might have been last Tuesday, or might have been any of the few days before. Midday Tuesday, H1N1 told me it was time to leave work. H1N1 did this by making me hurt all over and tired. The next morning I was administered a very unenjoyable ((that stick, at that angle, should not go that far into one’s nose)) flu test after some wait at Urgent Care, to find that I was “negative.” Only “negative” doesn’t really mean that…. All negative means is that the treatment becomes less sure. The flu test tells a patient two things. One: You have the flu. Or, Two: You probably have the flu. They call the second option “negative” because if you “probably” have the flu, then you only sort of think you will not have to get immunized, and only sort of get sympathy from your friends and family….
As you might imagine, I fell into this latter category. Having officially gone to the doctor, H1N1 officially said, “You, sir, are sick.” It was very professional about the matter, setting in to work immediately using such methods as crippling headache; pain in the eye socket that almost prevented eye movement; rattle in the upper chest that sounded like a rock in an old beater’s hubcap; congestion, body aches, chills. Oh. and fever. The fever had some pleasant effects you can imagine the inability to control one’s internal temperature would.
Due to my having had H1N1 for some time (a day) before it was diagnosed (improperly?), there is no real treatment. Rest, fluids, Advil for fever, rinse, repeat. I did.
Days of the same.
And after days of the same, a day with something new. A new symptom. Due to polite company I won’t get into the details of that symptom, but let’s just say I wasn’t having trouble keeping food down….
With a fever below 100.5 the day before, one is “allowed” to go to work. I doubt you’ll have the energy.
Pros:
Weight Loss.
Time off work.
You get plenty of privacy.
Cons:
You are sick.
Congestion.
Diarrhea.
Fever.
Muscle Aches.
Tiredness.
Headaches.
Chills.
Dry cough.
No one wants to be around you (more than usual).
You can’t get comfortable anywhere.
Conclusion:
I don’t recommend this flu. I tried liking it. I was receiving excellent care from Loving Wife, but try as I might, I just could not get “into” H1N1. In fact, I recommend active avoidance of H1N1 by getting immunized asap. Or, just get the flu (free, plenty of sources, I might even know some current ones if you’re interested). Get it now while it’s not so bad (yes, 4.5 days out of work is “not so bad” by flu standards from what I hear), get over it, and then when it IS nasty, we’ll all be safe.
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